Wednesday, 23 September 2015

homesick. very very homesick.

as much as i'm experiencing the buzz of uni life, home is constantly on the forefront of my mind. i've always been extremely close to my family, and with the luxuries of wifi and technology, talking and being connected with them is so easy. and i believe it is this that makes me even more homesick. i'm constantly getting messages from my family (even my grandparents!), and am up to date with our family whatsapp group. however the feeling of knowing whats happening, but not actually being there with my family makes me feel a bit left out at times.

it hasn't been long at all since i've moved out. however yesterday i was just not feeling it at all. i went about to collect my id card at 9am, despite sleeping late from face timing loksze, and then met yi-ling, a girl i knew from sixth form, to collect some books and sign up to the uni medical centre. we then attended an official welcome talk before doing some grocery shopping at morrisons and tesco before i headed back.

it was then that i really missed home and the people back in london. i guess it is in this silence and empty atmosphere that you long for someone you know and for a hug. i miss cuddles and the warmth of friends and family, and really crave an arm around me at the moment. it's always been quite easy for me to make friends, but perhaps it was because i knew that at the end of the day i could go home and still have people there for me every night. yesterday my eyes started balling and i just couldn't seize my tears from falling down. it's so hard settling down in another environment and knowing that all your closest family and friends are else where continuing with their normal lives.

thankfully with technology, i was able to Skype my family after their dinner. i hadn't dinner as i was so homesick, however seeing them again made me so happy, and i was easily satisfied with just seeing their faces and usual crazy antics. mummy placed me on the dining table where i got a view of the tv, and my family went about their normal activities. though i was far away and alone, i still felt the comfort of home and hearing that familiar sound of the tv; maybe it was just the silence of being alone in my room which made me particularly homesick. back at home, i've always wanted a free house and to be home alone because it is constantly so busy with so many people around and knocking on my door every so often and being disturbed every 15 minutes. however it is this that i miss - my sister wishing to share some exciting news with me, my dad giving me some advice, my mum telling me that dinner is ready for fourth time.

after skyping for over two hours, it was time to FaceTime loksze. again, seeing him made me miss his  presence and company so much, but i've just got to accept the fact that i have an aim to settle into uni right now.
out of my pain and misery, i remembered my friend anna, who currently is in her second year but starting a new course in newcastle uni. she shared a relatively close experience to mine and felt homesick, and was not into all these parties and wild nights either. i messaged her, and she replied me this morning with such encouraging words which really lifted my day up. i'm going to be skyping her soon so we can encourage each other even more, but for now i'm so thankful that God has placed such wonderful and supportive people around me.

i miss home. i miss it so so much that i can get teary from thinking about it every so often. but southampton is now my new home. and i will try my very best to settle in.

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